Anger Management – Episode 3
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009
PARENTAL ADVISORY: Green Teabagger’s thoughts are not safe for work, home, church, hospitals, probably not even the internet. Hell, Green Teabagger himself isn’t safe for work. The following is a pile of mostly wrestling-related profanity filled rants, thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that he has whether he is watching wrestling, at work, at home, watching cheesy Japanese anime, making fart jokes, and/or taking a dump after eating dinner at Taco Bell. There’s a fairly decent chance he’s wrong about something, but screw it. It’s his screwed up head. He runs with his thoughts and isn’t afraid to spew off about them all. You’ve been warned.
Last week, I felt like shit. In fact, thats mostly what I was doing. Throwing up and shitting. I felt like a walking John Cena joke minus the gay. Even the curative magical properties of Velvet Sky’s bubbly perfect bouncing ass couldn’t get me out of my funk, and Lord knows she certainly did try. I guess this was my body telling me I should have watched Wrestlemania instead of missing it for the first time in almost twenty years. Keeping this one short, there isn’t even going to be The End of the Universe this time. Oh well, I’m back now…..
Point 1. Let me repeat this: I did not see Wrestlemania. The only way I would regret this decision was if they actually pulled the trigger and had Shawn Michaels defeat The Undertaker. The only thing I can say I’m pissed about from reading is was that The Colons have the tag titles and thanks to last night’s draft it dosen’t appear to be rectified anytime soon.
Something that did bother me coming out of Mania wasn’t a match at Mania, but the reaction to it. I read and heard a good bunch of bitching about “OMG, Triple H beat Orton AGAIN” Well……yeah. Was any other result really expected? Given the storyline, given Hunter’s “emotion”, there couldn’t have been any other result besides Hunter winning. For those bitching, “its just Hunter going over at Mania again.” Triple H hadn’t won at Wrestlemania since he humiliated Booker T at Wrestlemania 19. This includes losses to Chris Benoit/Shawn Michaels (remember, that never happened), Batista, John Cena, and Randy Orton last year in a Triple Threat with Cena. It’s not that big of a deal. That said, now that Hunter is “home” on Raw again, I fully expect the Hunterbeast to chew Orton up like a Christian fed to the lions.
Point 2. I know I’m alone in this, but….I’m not a fan of “Santina” Marella. Don’t get me wrong, its hilarious, but the pathetic kind of funny instead of the comedic kind. Santino Marella winning Miss Wrestlemania = Hilarious. “Santina” Marella winning Miss Wrestlemania = Ugh. I guess its going to be Friday now where “Santina” has to make out with The Great Khali on the Khali KissCam in his new shiny red pants. I hope this ends by Backlash, and with Beth Phoenix beating the shit out of “Santina”
Point 3. I know its hopeless, but the only thing I want out of baseball this year is the Yankees not making the playoffs again. To them, thats as good as last place even if they win 95 games, which they could do and still finish in third place in the AL East. Of course, if the Yankees actually DID finish in last place, that would be infuckingcredible and I think I would actually buy a drink to celebrate.
Point 4. The Brian Kendrick is freaking awesome. Last year, when he first turned heel he was amazing. He was good enough that WWE put him in a main event level match at a pay-per-view in one of the “Scramble” matches. After that, they forgot all about him and now they’ve been using him simply to job. Why???? You give him a character he’s run with and do nothing else with it? I don’t get it. I’m not saying TBK should be knocking off Edge, Triple H, Cena, Taker, etc in World Title level matches, but you couldn’t tell me The Brian Kendrick couldn’t run over ECW with Ezekiel Jackson in his corner. Maybe the supplemental draft will send him there….
Point 5. The WWE Draft was last night on Raw, so……..that happened.
What looked like an absolute prison rape being done by Raw to Smackdown turned into a series of rough handjobs by the end of the night.
Raw ends up getting Triple H (what a stunner), Matt Hardy, Big Show, MVP, The Miz, and Maryse.
Smackdown ends up getting Chris Jericho, Rey Misterio, C.M. Punk, Kane, and Melina.
ECW ends up with Vladimir Kozlov. (SIDE NOTE: Ewww….maybe TBK couldn’t run over ECW *rollseyes* )
I’m not going to into any deep analysis of this until after Wednesday’s supplemental draft because most of the questions will be answered then by midcard moves, but I do have a few quick notes.
With Triple H moving back home to Raw, Chris Jericho and C.M. Punk moving to Smackdown was literally the greatest thing that could have happened to them. Look back in history, there’s only one thing Triple H likes to do more besides eating and destroying Randy Orton……eating and destroying Chris Jericho, or does someone have to go watch what happened at Wrestlemania 17 and what happened after that? Punk would have been in the lower midcard by default if he had stayed on Raw. It will be interesting to see how Edge and Chris Jericho end up interacting however.
How long before the McMahon/Triple H feud against Randy Orton and Legacy turn into The McMahons and D-X against Randy Orton and Legacy?
Maryse to Raw with the Butterfly belt, and Melina to the B-show with the Women’s Title? Really? Confusing.
I don’t even have the words to describe my disgust and anger over what WWE just did to John Morrison and The Miz. I really don’t. They finally have a chance to restore some faith in the tag team division in WWE and they promptly take a giant dump on it.
Next week, when I do another one of these (maybe), I’ll have The End of the Universe, Chris Benoit, and “Just because its popular dosen’t mean it dosen’t suck”
Until next time….
G-Bag
Tags: Anger Management, Colons, Decent Chance, Emotion, Fart Jokes, Hadn, Japanese Anime, John Cena, Joke, Magical Properties, Profanity, Shawn Michaels, Taco Bell, Tag Titles, Taking A Dump, Triple H, Twenty Years, Undertaker, Velvet Sky, Wrestlemania
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