Behind the curtain
Tuesday, March 17th, 2009
After the PPV “Destinastion X on sunday, have you ever wonder what its like to be backstage at a pay-per-view event? Ever wonder what happens backstage at a TNA spectacle? Then lets pull back the curtain and see……..
The time- 20 minutes before the dark matches of a TNA pay-per-view,
The place- backstage behind the curtain. J-E(haha)DOUBLE-F(haha) J-A(haha) DOUBLE-R(haha) E-DOUBLE-T(meh) is searching high and low for our hero Vinny Ru. Finally he finds him coming out of a broom closet with a piece of duct tape across the door that says “Creative team working- DO NOT DISTURB” written in sharpie marker.
JJ: Vince, where have you been? The PPV is on in an hour! Where’s the booking sheets? Where’s the production notes? What is the plan? What are we gonna do?
VR: Relaxx, Jeff; Itz undah control! Me and the boys in creative gotz it all undah control. Herez da bookin sheetz an’ the production notez fer da show!
(reaches into pocket and then hands a matchbook cover and a 1.5 zig-zag rolling paper)
VR: See-we gotta scale it back some,an’ streamline it a lil bit, but thats a liscense to print money right there!
JJ reads- “Show opens-
MEM comes out-
filler-
chix match-
filler-
spot monkeys-flippy flops
MAIN EVENT- KURT ANGLE!
fade to black
production-
Cold open-cut to back
go to ring
cut to backstage-Interview MEM
repeat as needed
fade to black
JJ- what the hell is this? 8 hours of creative meeting, and I get a matchbook and a rolling paper for it?? Wheres Corny?
VR: He left about an hour in, boss. Sumthin about lunatics runnin an asylum….Maybe itz an angle fer da next PPV!
JJ: I’m gonna talk to the writers-
(Jeff opens the door and finds a used Mr. Socko, a Hasbro magic 8-ball toy, a set of windup chattering teeth, and what appears to be a homeless man in a cardboard box sleeping in his own urine)
JJ: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? WHERES THE WRITERS WE HIRED? WHERES THE FOCUS STUDIES DIXIE PAID FOR? WHO THE HELL IS THAT SLEEPING IN THE CORNER??
VR: Relax, boss, We hadda fire some writers and replace a few otherz, but I know me an’ my brain trust are gonna knock one out of the park!
JJ: Socko?
VRR: Nah- he prefers to be called C.B. DeSocko now! Creative genius once I got him away from Foley.
JJ: is that an 8 ball?
VR: nah- Thatz standardz an’ practicez! I clear everything thru dem first! And that is Harold.
JJ: Whats his job?
VR: I dunno- I thought youz hired him, boss! Allz I know iz he makes more than Kong or any of them flippy-flopperz make. Don’t worry, boss- I always work better on da fly, an’ by da seat of my pantz!
(Vinny Ru slips on Socko and starts talking to himself in a high falsetto. Jeff walks out shaking his head and runs into Kevin Nash, who hands him a note)
“Dear Mr Jarrett- Please excuse Kevin from tonights pay per view. He has________.
Signed,
Kevin’s Doctor”
JJ: Kev- the note has a blank in it where it tells me whats wrong
Nash: Dammit! Hold on Jeff-
(turning around, Kevin pulls out a “Medical terms for Dummies” paperback book and flips to a random page)
-it shoulda said Dyspeptic esophogeal diverticulitis.
JJ: What is that?
Nash: I’m not sure, but I got a severe case of it! I’m goin home! See ya at the next TV taping…..
(Jeff’s cell rings)
JJ: Hello? Oh , hi Dixie! Oh, its going ok- believe me, this is a PPV that will be unbelieveable! NO ONE is gonna imagine how unbelieveable. Bye!
Tags: Ball Toy, Bookin, Booking Sheets, Brai, Brain Trust, Broom Closet, Cardboard Box, Chattering Teeth, Creative Genius, Creative Team, Duct Tape, Fade To Black, Focus Studies, Foley, Gotz, Homeless Man, Itz, Kurt Angle, Lil Bit, Lunatics, Magic 8 Ball, Matchbook, Mr Socko, Ppv, Relaxx, Sumthin, Vrr, Windup
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