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Look ma!  No tattoos!  None.  This is a CM Punk action figure that costs over $10, and there are no tattoos at all.  I didn’t snap a picture of The Undertaker figure from this same series, but it’s also lacking arm ink.  Interestingly enough, the ForceFlex series that didn’t come with any accessories had sketches of their tattoos – not nearly as detailed as the Elite series figures, but at least on par with what Jakks had given us over the years.

The Elite series figures are awesomely detailed, and I definitely plan on trying to pick up the Edge and Undertaker figures when I have the extra cash.  I definitely won’t be earmarking any money towards inked Superstars in the FlexForce series anytime soon.

This week, it’s all about one thing. Monday Night RAW vs. TNA iMPACT!. The Monday Night Wars: January 2010 Edition. The Etc. Etc. Blah Blah Blah.

Everyone has said their thoughts about the night. I’ve read, and listened to plenty of opinions of what happened on January 4. I’ve heard analysis, almost a frame by frame breakdown of the events and happenings of both shows, and now, I thought, that I’m actually gonna try and give it some reasoning. Let’s start with TNA, or as I call it…

Whatcha’ Gonna Do, When 1997 Runs Wild On You?

There are plenty of reasons as to why they decided to go up against RAW this past Monday. To fire the first shot, in the new Monday Night Wars. To show Vince McMahon that TNA aren’t kidding around anymore, or even it was on the part of Spike to try and take a few viewers from the weakening WWE product. But maybe, just maybe, TNA actually had a bit of sense, and decided that it’d be easier to go against RAW, than it is to go against the National Championship Game between Texas and Alabama.

Why not give it a crack? Why not take on something that rates a 3.5 on it’s best days, when you could go against something that will probably rate about a 15. I know, buy a TV rating aspect, which one I’d rather take on. With that worked out, it’s all about how you perform on the night, as to how your future goes. Did TNA come out of the gates like a bull, or did they whimper away faster than Ryan Leaf’s NFL career? To keep on the analogy of NFL QuarterBacks, TNA’s Monday Night show was like Tim Couch. Very few good moments, in what was otherwise a very crap-tacular performance.

One of the good moments however, were Two Championship matches. The KnockOuts Tag Team title match, in which Hamada and Awesome Kong became the second holders of the belts, when they beat previous Champions, Taylor Wilde and Sarita. The second, was the early candidate for Match Of The Year, which pitted the TNA Champion, AJ Styles, against the challenger, Kurt Angle. Even though Ric Flair came out mid-match, for what looked like no apparent reason, this match showed what TNA can produce. If only they had more of this, and a lot less of what the actually showed, then maybe they would have a decent wrestling program.

TNA’s New Motto: Cross The Line… But Only Before An Hour Of Commercials First

The rest… well, scarily enough, it was what most people expected. A re-hashed unlicensed version of WCW circa 1997. They had Hulk Hogan, they had Eric Bischoff, they had Nash, Hall and Sean Waltman. We saw the Nasty Boys, Ric Flair and radio show host, Bubba The Love Sponge. These guys, especially Bubba The Love Sponge, shouldn’t be on a wrestling program, let alone, soak up the majority of the airtime that wasn’t a match. TNA took a punt on bringing in Jeff Hardy, even though he is going to trial for drug charges. Shannon Moore, who hasn’t done anything useful since being Matt Hardy’s lackey. Sean Morley, who interrupted a “strip” poker game involving the Beautiful People, and Orlando Jordan, who interrupted a D’Angelo Dinero interview.

Hardy was a massive risk to bring in, even though he was one of the biggest guys in the business in the last 12 months, because of his actions when he left WWE. Shannon Moore has been in the company before, and I don’t remember anything memorable he achieved during his first run there. However, if Sean Morley is anything like the same Sean Morley that would work over guys on Heat every week, then it could be a good acquisition for the company. The same with Orlando Jordan. He wasn’t utilized as well as what he could have been, being JBL’s right-hand man during Layfield’s long WWE run in 2004-05. It will be interesting to see, just how he is used in Total Nonstop Action.

In the end, this is the bed they have made for themselves. Going back to what has worked in the past, and seeing if it will work again. Let’s see if this time, the young guys get built up, and are not used just for fodder for the old brigade.

"MVP is the longest reigning WWE World Champion!"

You know, I always thought to be the longest reigning World Champion, you’d have to win a World Championship.  “5th Grader” is more educational than I thought!

World Wrestling Entertainment have released new Diva trading cards, and going by the all new superstar decks, I think those new divas need to be checked for high levels of testosterone.

Part One: World Wrestling Entertainment

For those who haven’t been watching, the WWE has recently shed itself of all bloodshed and hardcore, and adpated more child-friendly programming. I don’t have a problem with that at all. Showing young children these larger than life characters on their TV screens. Showing young children that, just like their favourite WWE superstar, they can do anything and if they keep fighting, and never give up. They can achieve their dreams and goals in life, and the glow on a child’ face, the look in their eye, when they see one of these characters up close and personal, could make a young child’s wildest dreams true. However, with the focus squarely on the younger generation, where does this leave, the older fans?  The fans that grew up during Hulkamania, Randy Savage and the Ultimate Warrior. The fans who watched through the Attitude Era, watching Stone Cold flip off the boss, D-Generation X crotch chopping everyone, and showing the world that they were rebels. The fans who know that when someone started bleeding, or when the feud ended inside a steel cage, that match meant something, not just to the fans or the company, but to the wrestlers who competed in these matches.

Let’s turn the clock back ten-fifteen years. The Attitude era is in full swing. On one side, you have a foul-mouth, beer-swelling, middle-finger giving sumbitch by the name of Stone Cold, who disobeyed everything his boss ordered him to do. On the other, was a group who wouldn’t listen to anyone but themselves, who do what they wanted, when they wanted. If they wanted it, they would take it. This is the wrestling business that comfirmed me a wrestling fan. Sure, I’d watched it on VHS back in those days. Watching guys like Bret Hart win the first ever King of the Ring, or watching my idol, Shawn Michaels go from being the guy everyone loved, to the guy everyone loved to hate. But it was the Attitude era that really got me hooked. Watching a group known as D-Generation X, make more sexual innuendos during a two-hour broadcast, than most people would in a lifetime. Viewing the women, like Debra and Ivory, strip down to the bare essentials, showing you that they weren’t afraid to bare it all, and the World Wrestling Federation as it was known back then, weren’t afraid to show the 18-35 males and females of the world anything.

Fast track to today. There is no bloodshed, no Stone Cold, no bare essentials. Nothing. The closest we have to the days of yesteryear in World Wrestling Entertainement, is a re-hashed D-Generation X. But these days, they have  become childish, instead of the immature toilet humour we were used to seeing from them. From the days, where you could create an all-black stable, call them the Nation of Domination, and no-one would be offended. These days, it wouldn’t take long for someone to get offended and cause a massive uproar.

There is nothing wrong with the WWE becoming kid-friendly, but they have to give the older generations of fans something too, or be prepared to lose the fanbase, that bought them to where they are today.

Legends of Wrestling is a fitting title, I mean, look who’s on the cover – Jerry “The King” Lawler, Junk Yard Dog, Sgt. Slaughter, “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, and… Marcus Alexander “Buff” Bagwell?  Seriously?  Buff Bagwell?  Is this a misprint?  Ah, WalMart, you never fail to provide entertaining wrestling products.

So I’m at Wally World, and happened to pass by the sneaker section when I saw something that would probably wind up on WrestleCrap’s “Someone Bought This” section.  Instead of jumping straight to my e-mail and sending a message to RD Reynolds, I remembered I had my own sports-entertainment satire site.  Anyways, despite the what the guy whose picture is on these shoes says, I could see him.  I could see him just fine.  The fact remains that when I was a little kid, if there were Hulk Hogan or Ultimate Warrior shoes, I probably would’ve begged my parents for them, so this is actually a brilliant marketing move on the part of World Wrestling Entertainment.

Seriously though, John Cena sneakers (no, there weren’t old school Reebok pumps on them, sadly)?

Seriously - John Cena sneakers!

Complete with WWE logo treads!

If the image quality isn’t all that great, I apologize.  I don’t make a habit of bringing my camera with me on trips to the store, so the best I can do is these camera phone shots.