Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Tuesday, October 18th, 2011
Hi again folks. This is Matt B. Wrestle, welcoming folks to the On the Road segment. Where I Mr. Matt B. Wrestle shadow wrestlers on the road. This week I shadow John Morrison and his paramour Melina. Special disclaimer. When I started shadowing them Melina was still employed and it even continued even through her dismissal.
Well here is my special report.
Matt: Okay. Here we are standing outside of the arena awaiting Morrison. (looks to camera guy) make sure you get their good side.
CAM: But didn’t Melina have Botox injections?
Matt: Well you know what I mean. Just make sure you can see the star quality.
CAM: Okay?
Matt: Oh here they come.
Melina steps out first. Waving at her adoring fans. Her face showing little emotion. Lurking in the back is Morrison who seems to appear from behind her with a pink Cardigan coat draped over his arm. Obviously for Melina.
Matt: John, John Morrison over here.
Melina looks annoyed. She plops her arm out to block access to Morrison.
Melina: (obviously annoyed) So which one of you is Matt?
Matt: ME! Mr. Matt B. Wrestle. (puts out hand)
Melina: Oh okay. (ignores hand) I want to know why you forgot to invite me?
Matt: I heard you were busy. But he was free. I called your agent.
Melina: (to herself) I will have to fire my agent. (Really mother)
CAM: It is nice to meet you
Melina: Yeah. I know right.
By now Morrison has moved from behind her shakes my hand.
John: Hi Mr. Wrestle. You ready to shadow us for the next week or so?
Matt: Ready when you two are.
Melina: Come on Matt we have to go see Vince about an upcoming program.
We follow John and Melina as we go into Titan Tower. Once we enter into the lobby I can feel an aura of fear from the other employees when they see Melina. John receives pretty positive smiles and waves (minus of course from the frightened females) Making our way to Vince’s office Melina stops off at the vending machine and grabs some skittles.
Matt: So I hear you like those alot?
Melina: (Shoots glare) What of it? You going to chastise me too?
Matt: No just saying you could spokesperson for them.
She seems to really ponder the question before shaking it from memory.
Melina: No. Vince wouldn’t allow it.
John: (to Melina) So what are we going to ask him?
Melina: About pushes of course. Now that that heffer Mickie James is gone, I should be getting a bigger push. Isn’t that what you want?
John: Of course. I’ve had my push its your turn. (editors note* Morrison was given a push when he was ECW Champion, before the scandal that followed the Chris Benoit tragedy, With his name popping up on a performance enhancing drug list. Since John has kept a low profile.)
Walking into Vince’s office we watch as he is having an impromptu meeting with Michael Hayes, discussing the proposed push of Mark Henry.
Hayes: He’s a big boy that Henry. Dark vicious and mean. He can be America’s biggest fear of the coloreds getting out of their place.
Vince: You think that could work.
Hayes: Yes, you’ve seen the movie King Kong? The ape leaves the island and terrorizes New York.
Vince: OH YES! We should work up posters of Henry clinging to Empire State Building with a look of menace, followed by that phrase he would say…uh uh
Matt: “Dig down to the white meat?”
Vince looks up seeming ly oblivious to who I am. Hayes has a disgusted look as if I took his favorite toy.
Vince: That’s right! Hayes work on that right away with marketing.
Hayes gets up staring at me as if I shot his dog and mutters obscenities as he leaves. Not even acknowledging Morrison or the Camera Guy for that matter. Only a sly wink at Melina. Who seems to casually nod in response.
After watching what just went down my stomach turned sour. I knew I was in for a long ride.
Tags: Alot, Botox, Botox Injections, Camera Guy, Cardigan, Emotion, Fear, Females, Grabs, John Morrison, Melina, Mr Matt, Paramour, Pink, Puts, Road Segment, Smiles, Star Quality, Titan Tower, Vending Machine, Waves, Wrestlers
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Tuesday, September 6th, 2011
Welcome again folks, its your host Matt B. Wrestle and with me today is WWE former champion and current money maker of Vince’s Empire, John Cena.
Mr. U Can't C Me
M Wrestle: Hey John, so you stated in the wrestling press that the Divas are very important and how you want the fans to start a “Divas Matter” Initiative. How have you progressed?
Cena: Well, Matt for everyone out there who knows I strongly support the division and the women bust their a$$ every day to make their matches work. I believe the fans just haven’t seen how hard they work.
M Wrestle: I think the current trend of thinking is that they are a glorified bathroom break. There a mini intermission as it were.
Cena: Nothing can be further from the truth. We have plenty of new divas coming in who just need to be broken in. You don’t just come in to this business already knowing how to wrestle. They have to have a look that is marketable then the real training can begin.
M Wrestle: Because you’re in the entertainment business not the wrestling business? right?
Cena: Kinda. We still are wrestlers just look at my boy Daniel Bryan, he walks around with a shirt that says “wrestler” on it. Just go to shopWWe. com
M Wrestle: Okay. But before we go off topic your saying they have to have model bodies before being considered a viable option?
Cena: Not really true for all cases but its a start. Just look at Kharma, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Gail and Melina.
M. Wrestle: You are aware that Kharma is preggers, Melina has been fired, Natalya is pretty non existant, Gail quit in protest and Beth is jobbing to Kelly Kelly who has an inate fear of the ring ropes.
Cena: Well, I don’t know where you get your information but Kelly Kelly is not afraid of the ropes. And Beth is a heel. (rubs nose)
M. Wrestle: Problem John? Have a Pinocchio complex?
Cena: What? I’m not a wooden boy!
M Wrestle: (underbreath) So missed the point.
Cena: Huh?
M Wrestle: Nothing. Had to catch a sneeze. So should we look out for Alicia Fox, the Bella Twins and AJ to be the future of the division?
Cena: These are very talented ladies who should help bring WWe to the forefront. To one day even surpass the formers Divas of old.
M Wrestle: You mean Luna, Sable, Trish, Lita, Ivory, Jacqueline and Alundra Blaze?
Cena: Yeah, and who’s Alundra Blaze I think you’re misinformed.
M Wrestle: Yeah. I probably absently inserted a Joshi wrestler.
Cena: Joshi, what?
M. Wrestle: (rolls eyes) Moving on, what is Vince’s grand scheme for the Division?
Cena: He hoping to use them as role models for the young female fans . To be a source of pride. We have many women of different sizes in our division. (rubs his nose) Who all love one another. And respect each other.
M Wrestle: It makes sense look at the Bella Twins and former LayCool between the two they had nothing but love for Mickie James and Kharma.
Cena: Yeah?
M Wrestle: (rolls eyes in an almost Undertaker fashion)
Cena: Matt, you may want to get that checked out.
M Wrestle: Thanks John. Maybe we can go together me for my eyes and you for your nose?
Cena: Okay?
M Wrestle: Hope to see you again soon as Champion.
Next week: On the road with John Morrison.
My Name is Matt B. Wrestle, but you already know that.
Tags: Bathroom Break, Beth Phoenix, Daniel Bryan, Entertainment Business, Gail, Grand Scheme, Hey John, Intermission, John Cena, Kelly Kelly, Model Bodies, Money Maker, Natalya, New Divas, Non Existant, Pinocchio, Pinocchio Complex, Ring Ropes, Sneeze, Viable Option, Wrestlers, Wrestling Divas
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, August 31st, 2010
I did something I haven’t done in quite a while today – and I’m not referring to posting here on VRWHBG. I went and did a little window shopping. I was actually out specifically looking for the Kane figure from Mattel’s WWE Elite Series 3, but unfortunately I didn’t come across it. What I did come across, however, was something very interesting, and that’s the fact that Ted DiBiase, Jr has gone missing.
What the hell am I talking about, you’re no doubt wondering. Well, take a look at this:
Hmmm.
As you can see, that’s NOT Ted DiBiase in the package. In fact, that’s not even a Mattel WWE figure – it’s an old Jakks Deluxe Roddy Piper figure! So, it appears that Ted DiBiase 2 has gone missing. Maybe he’s hanging out in the DVD aisle, huh?
I swear, it was like this when I got there.
Poor Teddy. Not only is he missing from the action figure aisle, but the price of his BluRay has been slashed, and then it was replaced with “When In Rome.” Come to think of it, I didn’t see him on RAW tonight either – has anybody seen Ted DiBiase? He seems to have vanished off the face of the planet!
Tags: 163, Action Figure Aisle, Bad Day, Bluray, Elite Series, Hell, Kane, Mattel, No Doubt, Roddy Piper, Series 3, Ted Dibiase Jr, When In Rome, Window Shopping, Wwe
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Friday, April 2nd, 2010
We here at VinceRussoWatchesHisBeardGrow.com would like to send our congratulations to the site that inspired this site, WrestleCrap, on their 10 Anniversary! Congratulations, guys, and here’s to another Decade of Defecation!
Tags: Decade, Happy Anniversary, Wrestlecrap
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Monday, March 29th, 2010
I know, I know. Valentine’s Day was a month and a half ago. But as I was digging through a box of old baseball cards, I stumbled upon this 1991 Ultimate Warrior Valentine’s Day card…
What better way to show your sweetie you love her than by giving her a Valentine’s Day card featuring a guy who legally changed his name to Warrior Warrior?
Tags: Baseball Cards, Destrucity, Love, Month And A Half, Sweetie, Ultimate Warrior, Valentine S Day, Valentine S Day Card
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Saturday, January 16th, 2010
So I hit up Target this morning with one thing on my mind – “I want the Mattel Elite series 1 CM Punk figure.” Ok, that and I needed batteries for my camera before I head out to tonight’s Empire State Wrestling show. In any event, I got my figure. I wanted it because it has virtually the same articulation as the Jakks Deluxe Aggression figures, but with way more attention to detail. I’ll tell you, this figure looks phenomenal. Now, I know what you’re probably thinking. “Oh, he’s going to complain because the Pepsi and Cobra logos and the word ‘SPITFIRE’ are missing.” Well, you’re thinking wrong. Those are understandable omissions on an otherwise flawless figure. No, it’s not my new CM Punk figure that I’ve taken issue with – it’s the FlexForce figures that come with tons of accessories. You see, they had CM Punk and The Undertaker in that series with a glaring omission from each. The following is a picture of the CM Punk FlexForce figure.
click for full size
Look ma! No tattoos! None. This is a CM Punk action figure that costs over $10, and there are no tattoos at all. I didn’t snap a picture of The Undertaker figure from this same series, but it’s also lacking arm ink. Interestingly enough, the ForceFlex series that didn’t come with any accessories had sketches of their tattoos – not nearly as detailed as the Elite series figures, but at least on par with what Jakks had given us over the years.
The Elite series figures are awesomely detailed, and I definitely plan on trying to pick up the Edge and Undertaker figures when I have the extra cash. I definitely won’t be earmarking any money towards inked Superstars in the FlexForce series anytime soon.
Tags: Action Figure, Aggression, Articulation, Attention To Detail, Batteries, Cm Punk, Cobra, Elite Series, Empire State, Extra Cash, Glaring Omission, Logos, Mattel, Pepsi, Series 1, Sketches, Spitfire, Superstars, Undertaker, Wrestling Show
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Thursday, January 7th, 2010
Welcome to the War for another week.
(more…)
Tags: Aj Styles, Analogy, Belts, Crap, Frame By Frame, January 4, Monday Night Raw, Monday Night Wars, National Championship Game, New Monday, Nfl Career, Nfl Quarterbacks, Ryan Leaf, Spike, Tag Team Title, Tim Couch, Tna Impact, Tv Rating, Vince Mcmahon, Welcome To The War
Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »
Monday, January 4th, 2010
Please, please, please tell me that somebody got fired for introducing these terribly produced CM Punk slippers into the marketplace. It’s a poor excuse for an iron on transfer. No wonder I came across them at a closeout store for six bucks.
Click for full
Tags: Cm Punk, Iron On Transfer, Marketplace, Poor Excuse, Slippers, Straight Edge
Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
Monday, January 4th, 2010
Wrestling-Radio.com, a great site for wrestling news that doesn’t bombard you with popups and preloading site ads, recently featured a couple of our images (namely, the John Cena sneakers from “I’m Not Making This Up” and the MVP as WWE Champion picture from “’5th Grader’ Knows It’s WWE History”), unbeknown to us. Apparently, they got them via e-mail from people who didn’t bother to tell them where, exactly, they got these images. Wrestling-Radio.com has since given us credit for the photos, which I personally took with my cell phone, and I’m giving them permission to keep them up – but please, if anybody reading this site is going to take our images and send them off to another wrestling site, please make sure you give us credit.
Tags: Cell Phone, Champion, E Mail, Images, John Cena, Mvp, Photos, Popups, Preloading, Sneakers, Wrestling News, Wrestling Radio, Wwe
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009
MVP was on the half-hour version of “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader” recently. When he entered the classroom, the following graphic popped up on the screen.
"MVP is the longest reigning WWE World Champion!"
You know, I always thought to be the longest reigning World Champion, you’d have to win a World Championship. “5th Grader” is more educational than I thought!
UPDATE: Don’t let other sites fool you – this is original vincerussowatcheshisbeardgrow.com content.
Tags: Half Hour, Mvp, Quot, Screen Caption, World Champion, Wwe
Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »
