INTEROFFICE MEMO REVEALED!
By Sabufan | March 29th, 2009
FROM:Vince Russo, creative genius
To: Jeff Jarrett,the boss
subject: LICENSE TO PRINT MONEY!
Jeff-
Vince Shlomi, the man who sells you your ShamWows in the infomercial, was arrested last month for allegedly attacking a prostitute.
C.B.DeSocko and I were brainstorming, and decided that :
1. His name is Vince,so he’s a natural.
2. His name is in the news.
3. If we hire him, this is the kind of crossover with mainstream media that will put TNA on the map and on everyone’s lips!
Iz Vinnie Ru on a roll or what?
What we (Me and C.B.) did was offer him a job just like that peanut butter survivor Kurt has a hardon for. We might have to can a couple of flippy-floppers,but imagine THIS
Vince Shlomi(not to be confused with yourz truly) iz gonna be our pitchman for a new line of TNA consumable products aimed at our viewerz!
HUH? HUH? Iz Vinny Ru on a roll or what?
Here’z a partial list of products that me and Socko came up with recently. We wuz just waiting for the right time to spring them on you.(And we didnt even know about the shamwow dude at the time even!)
Ever want that Eddie Vedder circa 1993 hairstyle,but dont want to wait 2 weeks to get that greasy,slept on and not combed look? Well, wait no more with the TNA/Kevin Nash line of “BIG SEXY” haircare products!
Ever wish that you could look ripped,jacked,stacked,and shredded;but dont have years to devote to it? Then the TNA/BIG POPPA PUMP”physique in a bottle” is for you!
Want random sorta-semi famous and/or borderline hot chicks to be attracted to you? Then TNA/Kurt Angle pheremone love spray is for you! Made from pure pheremones extracted from Kurt’s actual sweat! (Me and Socko have had Harold collecting it for weeks!) Since we even used a Shamwow to do it, there’s more cross-over publicity!
Iz Vinny Ru on a roll or what?
We got some more products we’re working on. If we can get Chef Tony to sponsor it, we got the Samoa Joe opponent stabber/kitchen cutlery set. Itz still up in the air if we can get the Awesome Kong/Booker T braid extension home kit,or the Sheik Abdul whatzizname combo headwrap/picnic tablespread, or the Velvet Sky inflatable ass into production on short notice.
I know you’re busy, so if I dont hear from you in 10 minutes, I’ll assume I have your blessing and pull the trigger on this goldmine!
signed,
Vince Russo and C.B. DeSocko, creative geniuses
This entry was posted on Sunday, March 29th, 2009 at 12:23 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
7 Responses to “INTEROFFICE MEMO REVEALED!”
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ThinkSoJoE Says:
Sadly, I just introduced a friend to Shamwow last night when he spilled beer all over my living room floor. Damned clumsy bastard. For the record – the carpet wasn't dry after taking the Shamwow to it, but it wasn't noticeably wet either.
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<img src="http://www.vincerussowatcheshisbeardgrow.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/beavisvince.png">
Heh heh, hey Butt-Head, check it out! It's called a Shamwow. We could use it to, like, wipe our butts and stuff, heh heh, heh.
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G-Bag Says:
That Scott Steiner pic is frightening.
I want to see a Six Sides of Steel First Blood Ladder on a Pole match between the Shamwow moron and Billy Mays.
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LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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What JT said! That was great!
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Bronte Says:
Chamwow? Chamois? Shammy?
I gues it's a matter of where you live, how old you are, and if yuo believe in drinking alcahol.
If yuour Moslem that problem would not arise.
But you'd have to spen time trainig to do other things I won't mention.
Oh yes. I am old. -
Paella pan guide Says:
…
Yes! I agree what you say!…
![http://www.vincerussowatcheshisbeardgrow.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/beavisvince.png">](http://www.vincerussowatcheshisbeardgrow.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/beavisvince.png">){kind=link}